Phone Scammers , Meet Karma

I keep getting the assholes calling me and waking me up in the mornings claiming to be from THE US GOVERNMENT!! ELEVENTY ELEVEN!!!!

They are pissing me off too.

It's always some fuckhead with such a heavy Indian accent that I can't hardly understand what the fuck they are saying.

Well, they done fucked up this morning.
Woke my ass up but I didn't answer the phone right away because I didn't have my glasses on.
Some local number though.

I got up, went and warmed up some of yesterdays coffee, went out and had a smoke then came in, got a pen and a paper and called the number back.

Bingo.
I had to have the guy spell out what government agency he was claiming to represent his accent was so bad.

The U.S. Branch of Human Health Services.

Got some phony address, another phony phone number then got down to business.
He claimed his name was Joe Bronson.

Says he is from THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT!!
Claims that they took some phony survey and that because I haven't filed for bankruptcy and don't have a criminal record that I qualify to get $7,800.

The whole time he is trying to scam me, I am just fucking with this motherfucker non stop.
This is like the sixth time these cock suckers have called and woke me up in the last two months so now it's game on.

I let him run his yap for a bit then I told him I wasn't interested before he could set the hook, then I hung up.

I drank some more coffee and got on the internet and filed a complaint against the sonsabitches with the FTC.
It won't do a bit of good but I have been on the Do Not Call registry since October of 2012.

After I got a confirmation number for my complaint, I called the asshole back up again.


I could hear a television blasting in the back ground but he answered right in character.

I told him I had the wrong number and hung up.
Fifteen minutes later I called 'em again and some Indian woman answered an immediately identified herself as working for the government also.
I mumbled some nothings and hung up on her too.

Just a minute ago I called and some guy answers but his accent has pretty much disappeared and he claims he doesn't know what I'm talking about, I asked him if he had money for me but he claimed ignorance.

It's the same guy so they are on to me.

I told him that he could expect a call from the government and hung up on his ass.


Later on I'm gonna call the fuckers again.

I'm gonna call the cocksuckers at two in the morning after I get home from work too.

Then I am going to explain to them that they have fucked with the wrong guy one time too many and that now it's my turn.

You see, they really fucked up when they called me with a local number that actually connects back to them.

I'm gonna call the cocksuckers at that number until they are forced to disconnect it.

Payback is a bitch.