The idiots that say they have to confirm my age because it's the law get the full treatment from me.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
No Shit
The idiots that say they have to confirm my age because it's the law get the full treatment from me.
I Woke Up this Morning And Found My Grandfather Staring Back At Me In The Mirror
Sheese, that was scary.
I turned 57 today, that's why, I'm a fucking geezer.
I know, people are going to say that isn't old and some folks are going to leave a comment basically calling me a young punk but I am here to tell you that 57 of my years is pretty much like 67 years for normal people.
I should have been dead at least twenty times by now but for some reason the good Lord is keeping me around for something.
Maybe just as an example of what not to do with your life, I dunno.
Anyways, for as much abuse I have dished out to my body over the years I'm really not in that bad of shape considering.
For one, I can still walk and I still have all my fingers and toes.
No small feat for what I have done for a living in the past and especially for what I do now, not to mention about fifty car wrecks and who knows how many motorcycle wrecks. Throw in some alcoholism, drug abuse and smoking cigarettes for 47 years just to make it interesting.
Shit, I even had a wooden structure collapse on my head once.
Broken bones, broken teeth, strains sprains and concussions up the wazoo. My nose has been broken 9 times at last count, the fucking thing is on a hinge at this point.
I wrecked my motorcycle once and basically landed on my head at 45 miles an hour, it rang my bell so fucking hard that I didn't recognize my own parents at the nurses desk staring at me with concern after I had finally ridden the bike home with one hand and had my room mate haul me to the hospital.
I had no idea who they were and remember my Mom staring at me and thinking who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you looking at?
Thank God I had a helmet on because it cracked that sonofabitch good.
Of course like anyone of my advanced years, I occasionally get what my Grandmother used to call Mystery Pains just for fun too.
You know the ones.
You feel fine when you go to bed but when you wake up the next day you inexplicably can't move a certain part of your body without inducing extreme pain.
The odd crick in the neck, an ankle that goes tender, arthritis pain or some kind of funky lumbago you never had before.
There is no rhyme or reason for it other than to remind you that you are still alive and gettin' fuckin' old.
The last few weeks I have been having trouble with some tendonitis in my right arm and my left wrist has gone gunnybag like I strained it. Hurts like a fucking bastard if I turn it the wrong way.
That wreck I was talking about just a minute ago?
When I went over the handle bars I put my hands out and landed right on my hands just before my head slammed the pavement.
Broke my left wrist and separated my right shoulder on top of the concussion.
I broke that wrist again in the same place a couple of years later going over the bars of a mini bike onto the pavement yet again.
The doctor told me if I ever broke it again that the scar tissue would probably cut the blood supply off to the little novicular bone that I broke twice.
That's why I have trouble with it occasionally.
Then I had the guy turn left in front of me from the right lane in South San Francisco on my way to work in 84 I think it was.
I wound up having my lower back fused in 85 when I was 25 years old after going through TWELVE fucking doctors that kept telling me there was nothing wrong with me because I could bend over and touch my toes. Fucking quacks. They obviously had never heard of a bulging disc before.
That was pretty much the end of me and motorcycles though.
It seems I have a problem with throttle positions when it comes to anything with an engine.
There are only two.
OFF and WIDE OPEN.
This is not a good thing when riding a motorcycle on the streets I discovered.
Well, that's enough rambling for now, Someone is telling me to sit up and eat my pudding like a good boy. Nice lady.
Besides that I feel a nap coming on and I need to take some more Ibuprophen.
Naps are good too I have discovered, sneaky but good.
Y'all have a nice day now and thanks for stopping by.
I turned 57 today, that's why, I'm a fucking geezer.
I know, people are going to say that isn't old and some folks are going to leave a comment basically calling me a young punk but I am here to tell you that 57 of my years is pretty much like 67 years for normal people.
I should have been dead at least twenty times by now but for some reason the good Lord is keeping me around for something.
Maybe just as an example of what not to do with your life, I dunno.
Anyways, for as much abuse I have dished out to my body over the years I'm really not in that bad of shape considering.
For one, I can still walk and I still have all my fingers and toes.
No small feat for what I have done for a living in the past and especially for what I do now, not to mention about fifty car wrecks and who knows how many motorcycle wrecks. Throw in some alcoholism, drug abuse and smoking cigarettes for 47 years just to make it interesting.
Shit, I even had a wooden structure collapse on my head once.
Broken bones, broken teeth, strains sprains and concussions up the wazoo. My nose has been broken 9 times at last count, the fucking thing is on a hinge at this point.
I wrecked my motorcycle once and basically landed on my head at 45 miles an hour, it rang my bell so fucking hard that I didn't recognize my own parents at the nurses desk staring at me with concern after I had finally ridden the bike home with one hand and had my room mate haul me to the hospital.
I had no idea who they were and remember my Mom staring at me and thinking who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you looking at?
Thank God I had a helmet on because it cracked that sonofabitch good.
Of course like anyone of my advanced years, I occasionally get what my Grandmother used to call Mystery Pains just for fun too.
You know the ones.
You feel fine when you go to bed but when you wake up the next day you inexplicably can't move a certain part of your body without inducing extreme pain.
The odd crick in the neck, an ankle that goes tender, arthritis pain or some kind of funky lumbago you never had before.
There is no rhyme or reason for it other than to remind you that you are still alive and gettin' fuckin' old.
The last few weeks I have been having trouble with some tendonitis in my right arm and my left wrist has gone gunnybag like I strained it. Hurts like a fucking bastard if I turn it the wrong way.
That wreck I was talking about just a minute ago?
When I went over the handle bars I put my hands out and landed right on my hands just before my head slammed the pavement.
Broke my left wrist and separated my right shoulder on top of the concussion.
I broke that wrist again in the same place a couple of years later going over the bars of a mini bike onto the pavement yet again.
The doctor told me if I ever broke it again that the scar tissue would probably cut the blood supply off to the little novicular bone that I broke twice.
That's why I have trouble with it occasionally.
Then I had the guy turn left in front of me from the right lane in South San Francisco on my way to work in 84 I think it was.
I wound up having my lower back fused in 85 when I was 25 years old after going through TWELVE fucking doctors that kept telling me there was nothing wrong with me because I could bend over and touch my toes. Fucking quacks. They obviously had never heard of a bulging disc before.
That was pretty much the end of me and motorcycles though.
It seems I have a problem with throttle positions when it comes to anything with an engine.
There are only two.
OFF and WIDE OPEN.
This is not a good thing when riding a motorcycle on the streets I discovered.
Well, that's enough rambling for now, Someone is telling me to sit up and eat my pudding like a good boy. Nice lady.
Besides that I feel a nap coming on and I need to take some more Ibuprophen.
Naps are good too I have discovered, sneaky but good.
Y'all have a nice day now and thanks for stopping by.
Monday, January 30, 2017
More Of That Gurgling Sound I Love So Much
The gurgling of a swamp being drained. This one is a twofer.
White House fires acting attorney general who wouldn't defend Trump's refugee ban
Not only did he get rid of one of Obama's chosen ones, it was in the Justice Department. Obama turned that joint into a vipers nest full of his little Liberal minions.
Actually, it's a win win win.
He fired the bitch so she can't just slide sideways in the department.
White House fires acting attorney general who wouldn't defend Trump's refugee ban
President Trump fired acting Atty. Gen. Sally Yates on Monday, just hours after she announced that the department would not defend his controversial executive order banning refugees and travelers from certain countries.
Yates has "betrayed the Department of Justice by refusing to enforce a legal order designed to protect the citizens of the United States," the White House said in a statement. "It is time to get serious about protecting our country."
The move came after Yates sent a letter to Justice Department lawyers saying that she questioned the lawfulness of Trump's executive order.
"My responsibility is to ensure that the position of the Department of Justice is not only legally defensible, but is informed by our best view of what the law is after consideration of all the facts," Yates wrote.
"At present, I am not convinced that the defense of the executive order is consistent with these responsibilities, nor am I convinced that the executive order is lawful," she wrote. "Consequently, for as long as I am the acting attorney general, the Department of Justice will not present arguments in defense of the executive order unless and until I become convinced that it is appropriate to do so."
Yates was a holdover from the Obama administration. But because Trump's nominee for attorney general, Sen. Jeff Sessions, has not been confirmed and no other senior Justice Department officials have been appointed, firing her was expected to cause significant problems within the department.
Among other issues, Yates is the only person in the department currently authorized to sign warrants for wiretapping in foreign espionage cases involving the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court.
Trump replaced Yates with Dana J. Boente, a three-decade veteran of the Justice Department who was appointed in 2015 by former President Obama as U.S. attorney for the eastern district of Virginia.
Not only did he get rid of one of Obama's chosen ones, it was in the Justice Department. Obama turned that joint into a vipers nest full of his little Liberal minions.
Actually, it's a win win win.
He fired the bitch so she can't just slide sideways in the department.
Hand Me That Electrical Tape Fred, I Think I Can Fix This.
Jayzus.
This is on the electric motor for the vintage table saw I got from a buddy a little while back, after I cut off half a roll of nasty old electrical tape it was hiding under.
I am very glad I never tried to plug the fucker in to see if it worked first.
All that bullshit is going away pronto!
I'll see how bad it is inside the peckerhead, hopefully I can just string some new wire using the original switch that is still there.
We shall see.
I will say one thing, that fucker is heavy.
By the way, for those who don't know what a peckerhead is, it's what they call the little box on the side of electrical motors where all the wiring connections are made.
Don't ask me why they call it that, I have no idea but they do.
This is on the electric motor for the vintage table saw I got from a buddy a little while back, after I cut off half a roll of nasty old electrical tape it was hiding under.
I am very glad I never tried to plug the fucker in to see if it worked first.
All that bullshit is going away pronto!
I'll see how bad it is inside the peckerhead, hopefully I can just string some new wire using the original switch that is still there.
We shall see.
I will say one thing, that fucker is heavy.
By the way, for those who don't know what a peckerhead is, it's what they call the little box on the side of electrical motors where all the wiring connections are made.
Don't ask me why they call it that, I have no idea but they do.
Hi Ho Hi Ho, It's Out To The Garage I Go
I'm taking this whole week off from work, I couldn't fucking stand it anymore.
I am not going anywhere or doing anything special, instead, I am going out in that disaster area of a garage and try to make it usable finally.
We have been in this place for almost a year now and I have made at least ten trips to the dump getting rid of shit.
There is more that needs to go.
Shit that I have been packing around for decades.
Some I will keep, some of it is going away.
I made another dump run Saturday and I swear to you, there was less room to walk around in after I got back than there was before I left.
I think I figured out how that works finally.
The Wifely Unit has a pretty good program going for herself I see.
Anything she wants to get rid of?
She opens the laundry room door and pitches it out in the fucking garage for me to deal with.
It got to the point that I couldn't hardly get in and out of that door, the shit was piled up over waist high in spots.
That's on top of all of my shit that is stacked up and laying around.
So basically, the load I took to the dump the other day was to get rid of all the shit she had tossed out there.
She had more waiting too. While I was at the dump she took advantage of my absence.
Nope, put that out to get hauled off. One run at a time.
Now it's time to get serious.
I need to change the oil in that fucking Sprite too, then clean out and wash that pig sty of an El Camino.
Some vacation right?
No rest for the wicked.
I am not going anywhere or doing anything special, instead, I am going out in that disaster area of a garage and try to make it usable finally.
We have been in this place for almost a year now and I have made at least ten trips to the dump getting rid of shit.
There is more that needs to go.
Shit that I have been packing around for decades.
Some I will keep, some of it is going away.
I made another dump run Saturday and I swear to you, there was less room to walk around in after I got back than there was before I left.
I think I figured out how that works finally.
The Wifely Unit has a pretty good program going for herself I see.
Anything she wants to get rid of?
She opens the laundry room door and pitches it out in the fucking garage for me to deal with.
It got to the point that I couldn't hardly get in and out of that door, the shit was piled up over waist high in spots.
That's on top of all of my shit that is stacked up and laying around.
So basically, the load I took to the dump the other day was to get rid of all the shit she had tossed out there.
She had more waiting too. While I was at the dump she took advantage of my absence.
Nope, put that out to get hauled off. One run at a time.
Now it's time to get serious.
I need to change the oil in that fucking Sprite too, then clean out and wash that pig sty of an El Camino.
Some vacation right?
No rest for the wicked.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Good News Snowflakes!
Now there is an official form you can fill out and turn in when you get all butthurt!
The bad news is that the only fucking thing it is good for is to keep you busy filling it out so we all get a break from your sniveling.
Then it gets thrown in the trash.
Pussies.
The bad news is that the only fucking thing it is good for is to keep you busy filling it out so we all get a break from your sniveling.
Then it gets thrown in the trash.
Pussies.
I'm Sure This Hasn't Changed Either Way.
Trump may be the president but our government is still over stocked with power mad control freaks who have severe Daddy issues.
Discovered at and politely liberated from, Monkey Reflections.
Head on over there and give him a poke.
He needs to post more often.
Discovered at and politely liberated from, Monkey Reflections.
Head on over there and give him a poke.
He needs to post more often.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Late Bloomers
I was drinking straight bourbon whiskey and smoking cigarettes when I was ten years old, used to sneak the old mans beer before that even.
I'll tell ya what though, you didn't talk to your mother like I see these little fuckers do now.
There would have been little pieces of your ass all over the front yard.
The way it should be.
I'll tell ya what though, you didn't talk to your mother like I see these little fuckers do now.
There would have been little pieces of your ass all over the front yard.
The way it should be.
Friday, January 27, 2017
I See It's Business As Usual Out In The 'Burbs
I just ran up to the local auto parts store to pick up some valve grinding compound and a tube of Prussian Blue to check the valve seats with on the little Briggs and Stratton lawn mower engine project I currently have torn apart.
I know damn good and well I have a little can of the grinding compound out in that disaster area of a garage somewhere, the same one I have been dragging from place to place for over thirty years now but I can't find it. My surprised face is missing today also.
What the hell the stuff is cheap and I know I didn't have any of the bluing compound anyway.
As I am tooling up the road to the main intersection I see a fucking Log Truck pulled over by the Sheriffs department for an inspection.
I didn't know they did that. I do know the Stater's are famous for that shit around here though.
Poor bastard, probably some Gypo outfit who is barely making a living as it is.
Then as I am leaving the parts house I spy a Vancouver cop backing into a driveway across the road to help lighten the wallets of those Evil Doers going over the local speed limit too.
This is about four blocks from the Log Truck.
Local government revenue generation in action.
Just another day in the Burbs, repeated thousands of times every day in every city in this entire country.
Sonsabitches anyway.
I know damn good and well I have a little can of the grinding compound out in that disaster area of a garage somewhere, the same one I have been dragging from place to place for over thirty years now but I can't find it. My surprised face is missing today also.
What the hell the stuff is cheap and I know I didn't have any of the bluing compound anyway.
As I am tooling up the road to the main intersection I see a fucking Log Truck pulled over by the Sheriffs department for an inspection.
I didn't know they did that. I do know the Stater's are famous for that shit around here though.
Poor bastard, probably some Gypo outfit who is barely making a living as it is.
Then as I am leaving the parts house I spy a Vancouver cop backing into a driveway across the road to help lighten the wallets of those Evil Doers going over the local speed limit too.
This is about four blocks from the Log Truck.
Local government revenue generation in action.
Just another day in the Burbs, repeated thousands of times every day in every city in this entire country.
Sonsabitches anyway.
No Habla, Puta
I gotta say, this just tickles the shit out of me.
Trump has been telling people that he is going to get that fucking wall built on our border with Mexico and he is going to make them pay for it too.
Him and El Presidente Enrique Peña Nieto, have been going round and round about it.
Nieto said Fuck You Gringo, We ain't payin' for that shit.
Trump just said Oh yes the fuck you are and laid out some taxes on imports he wants plus a couple other ways he has been floating to stick it to 'em.
Apparently that pissed El Presidente off and he just cancelled a meeting they had scheduled.
Stomp your little feet all you want Esse, you going to pay.
Let me just say up front here that this absolute flood of immigrants from Mexico was openly embraced by a certain recently retired President of ours even though it was flagrantly illegal.
Some motherfuckers were making bank on that shit on both sides of the Rio Grande.
I see Obama's chosen boy who got appointed to head up the border patrol just got shitcanned too.
It's looking to be pretty fucking obvious at this point that Trump is not fucking around with this.
Bravo I say.
Shut that fucking border up and make that sonfabitch as water tight as a frog's asshole.
I don't even wanna hear the usual sniveling cocksuckers whining that these illegal motherfuckers do the jobs that Americans won't.
Don't even fucking go there.
There are 96 million Americans without a fucking job because of Obama's policies.
Start getting rid of these illegal fuckers, fine a few of the assholes who employ them into fucking bankruptcy so the rest of 'em get the fucking message and we'll see who won't work.
Either way we are going to save money because we won't be paying for every damn bit of the support they have gotten so used to.
We are talking about BILLIONS of dollars here Holmes.
More than enough to pay for that damn wall up front.
Then we can worry about putting the squeeze on Senor Nieto.
Trump has been telling people that he is going to get that fucking wall built on our border with Mexico and he is going to make them pay for it too.
Him and El Presidente Enrique Peña Nieto, have been going round and round about it.
Nieto said Fuck You Gringo, We ain't payin' for that shit.
Trump just said Oh yes the fuck you are and laid out some taxes on imports he wants plus a couple other ways he has been floating to stick it to 'em.
Apparently that pissed El Presidente off and he just cancelled a meeting they had scheduled.
Stomp your little feet all you want Esse, you going to pay.
Let me just say up front here that this absolute flood of immigrants from Mexico was openly embraced by a certain recently retired President of ours even though it was flagrantly illegal.
Some motherfuckers were making bank on that shit on both sides of the Rio Grande.
I see Obama's chosen boy who got appointed to head up the border patrol just got shitcanned too.
It's looking to be pretty fucking obvious at this point that Trump is not fucking around with this.
Bravo I say.
Shut that fucking border up and make that sonfabitch as water tight as a frog's asshole.
I don't even wanna hear the usual sniveling cocksuckers whining that these illegal motherfuckers do the jobs that Americans won't.
Don't even fucking go there.
There are 96 million Americans without a fucking job because of Obama's policies.
Start getting rid of these illegal fuckers, fine a few of the assholes who employ them into fucking bankruptcy so the rest of 'em get the fucking message and we'll see who won't work.
Either way we are going to save money because we won't be paying for every damn bit of the support they have gotten so used to.
We are talking about BILLIONS of dollars here Holmes.
More than enough to pay for that damn wall up front.
Then we can worry about putting the squeeze on Senor Nieto.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Right On Cue
Trump isn't wasting any time doing what he said he was going to do. It hasn't even been a week yet.
I see Lefty heads exploding all over the internet. It's highly entertaining I have to admit.
Presidential directives are just flying out of the Whitehouse and I see some people in shock over what is in them.
Wise up assholes, he has had plenty of time to watch his predecessors do it and so now he is throwing them out left and right too.
This is all fine and dandy.
I'm waiting to see what happens when he has to actually deal with Congress.
You know, those assclowns in charge of the purse strings.
Presidents can spit directives until their face turns blue but most of those involve money somewhere down the line.
That is where the rubber is going to meet the road.
I see Lefty heads exploding all over the internet. It's highly entertaining I have to admit.
Presidential directives are just flying out of the Whitehouse and I see some people in shock over what is in them.
Wise up assholes, he has had plenty of time to watch his predecessors do it and so now he is throwing them out left and right too.
This is all fine and dandy.
I'm waiting to see what happens when he has to actually deal with Congress.
You know, those assclowns in charge of the purse strings.
Presidents can spit directives until their face turns blue but most of those involve money somewhere down the line.
That is where the rubber is going to meet the road.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
I Need A Vacation But I Can't Afford One.
Fuck it, I'm taking one anyway next week.
I am constantly exhausted and have had enough.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Tuesday Already?
They say time flies when you are having fun.
I can't explain why it seems to be flying for me then.
Have a nice ass to look at while I stay busy at work.
I can't explain why it seems to be flying for me then.
Have a nice ass to look at while I stay busy at work.
12 hour shifts the next few days
They finally have someone coming in to teach an electrical class.
Something I have been pestering them about for five damn years.
Of course it starts at 8 in the morning.
I will do that and then work until 8 at night, leaving one guy to pretty much do the swingshift by himself.
Posting will be sporadic probably. Thanks for stopping by and hit those blogrolls!
Something I have been pestering them about for five damn years.
Of course it starts at 8 in the morning.
I will do that and then work until 8 at night, leaving one guy to pretty much do the swingshift by himself.
Posting will be sporadic probably. Thanks for stopping by and hit those blogrolls!
Sunday, January 22, 2017
FOR IT IS WRITTEN !
Somewhere, it has to be.
I just have to find it.
I'm thinking Book of Revelations or someplace else in the Bible where God has cursed mankind for the sins it commits.
What am I babbling about now?
Pull up a chair and I will explain.
So yesterday I went to one of my favorite places and picked up a couple of items, you know, Harbor Freight again.
When we had all that ice and snow a week or so they came out with a bunch of coupons and another one of their regular MEGA SALES!!
One of the items on sale was one of those tank top propane heaters I thought it might be nice to have.
So I loaded up and mosied on over there to get one.
Of course, they were sold out.
So I got a rain check and made sure the surly little blonde chick filled it out with the coupon number and reduced price so that when I came back, I wasn't going to pay full boat on it. $29 I could do, $45 I won't.
Yesterday, I mosied my narrow little ass right back over there to pick one up figuring they had plenty of time to restock.
Yeppers, they had several.
So, it is impossible for me to just run in and out of that fucking place. I figure I am doing well to get out of there for under $100 every time I set foot in the place
.
Have I mentioned I'm a tool junkie lately?
So anyways, back to the point here.
While I was in there I spotted a One Ton Arbor Press that I have been kinda sorta wanting for some inexplicable reason for a while now.
I don't really have a need for one but hey, tool junkie, remember?
Normally they are about $70, which in the past has been just enough for me to look at them hard and just keep walking. I've read the reviews on the thing.
Lo and behold, yesterday they have some kind of special deal on it for $39 if you are a member of some "Insider club".
I have no idea what that entails but into the cart the fucking thing goes.
I get up to the counter and start in with the guy.
This club deal is $30 a year and they send you metric assloads of coupons and special deals every month that regular folks don't get.
OK, that will make the purchase of this Press pretty much full price but I rationalize to myself that I wanted one anyway and I will more than likely make up that $30 in savings inside of two weeks at the rate I spend money in that place.
Done.
I got another one of their cheapie little Multi Meters for free and even got another 20% off the press with a coupon they honored.
So I basically got $200 worth of shit for 1/2 price.
Told ya, $100.
Now for the reason for the title of this post finally.
I unboxed the little press and took it apart to clean it, adjust it and lubricate it. Like I said, I've read the reviews.
As usual, I found a bunch of loose bolts and even one that was stripped out.
As I am test fitting the gears I noticed two holes on the top for oiling the shaft I am assuming.
Looking closer it appears that if I just drill those two holes out a smidgeon that I could tap them and put grease fittings in them which would be way the hell better than having oil running all over the damn place due to their less than precise tolerances on the shaft and the boss it goes in.
Out comes the drill and the tap and in just a few minutes it's ready for some grease fittings.
I dug around and found a pair and screwed them right in.
Then I went over to my Roll Away and grabbed a grease gun out of the bottom drawer and hooked it to the first fitting and started pumping away on the handle.
Nothing happened.
No grease.
This has happened to me at least a hundred times in my life, I used to grease heavy equipment all day long for a living.
Not a problem I think to myself. I threw it down and dug out another one.
And another one.
And another one!
Four motherfucking grease guns and every single one of the cocksuckers is empty!
Are you fucking kidding me?!
One or two I can see.
Four in a row must be some kind of sign.
This is when it came to me, somewhere God must have put a curse on grease guns.
BEHOLD SINNERS!
BECAUSE YOU HAVE DISPLEASED THE LORD YOUR GOD, WHENEVER YOU ARE IN DIRE NEED OF LUBRICATION YOU WILL FIND EVERY GREASE GUN IN THE LAND TO BE EMPTY WHEN YOU NEED IT MOST UNTIL THE RETURN OF CHRIST HIMSELF AMEN!
I also think there is a sub curse that goes along with it.
BEHOLD SINNERS! LISTEN UP!
AFTER YOU HAVE TRAVELED FAR AND WIDE TO FIND GREASE FOR YOUR GREASE GUNS, YOU WILL FOREVER AND EVER FIND THAT ONCE YOU HAVE GREASE COVERING YOUR DIRTY SINNING HANDS THERE WILL NOT BE A GREASE RAG TO BE FOUND WITHIN TWENTY FIVE FEET.
SO SAYETH THE LORD YOUR GOD!
Because it never, ever fails.
Today was no different.
And so it will be for eternity or until there is no more need for grease guns, whichever comes first.
Amen.
I just have to find it.
I'm thinking Book of Revelations or someplace else in the Bible where God has cursed mankind for the sins it commits.
What am I babbling about now?
Pull up a chair and I will explain.
So yesterday I went to one of my favorite places and picked up a couple of items, you know, Harbor Freight again.
When we had all that ice and snow a week or so they came out with a bunch of coupons and another one of their regular MEGA SALES!!
One of the items on sale was one of those tank top propane heaters I thought it might be nice to have.
So I loaded up and mosied on over there to get one.
Of course, they were sold out.
So I got a rain check and made sure the surly little blonde chick filled it out with the coupon number and reduced price so that when I came back, I wasn't going to pay full boat on it. $29 I could do, $45 I won't.
Yesterday, I mosied my narrow little ass right back over there to pick one up figuring they had plenty of time to restock.
Yeppers, they had several.
So, it is impossible for me to just run in and out of that fucking place. I figure I am doing well to get out of there for under $100 every time I set foot in the place
.
Have I mentioned I'm a tool junkie lately?
So anyways, back to the point here.
While I was in there I spotted a One Ton Arbor Press that I have been kinda sorta wanting for some inexplicable reason for a while now.
I don't really have a need for one but hey, tool junkie, remember?
Normally they are about $70, which in the past has been just enough for me to look at them hard and just keep walking. I've read the reviews on the thing.
Lo and behold, yesterday they have some kind of special deal on it for $39 if you are a member of some "Insider club".
I have no idea what that entails but into the cart the fucking thing goes.
I get up to the counter and start in with the guy.
This club deal is $30 a year and they send you metric assloads of coupons and special deals every month that regular folks don't get.
OK, that will make the purchase of this Press pretty much full price but I rationalize to myself that I wanted one anyway and I will more than likely make up that $30 in savings inside of two weeks at the rate I spend money in that place.
Done.
I got another one of their cheapie little Multi Meters for free and even got another 20% off the press with a coupon they honored.
So I basically got $200 worth of shit for 1/2 price.
Told ya, $100.
Now for the reason for the title of this post finally.
I unboxed the little press and took it apart to clean it, adjust it and lubricate it. Like I said, I've read the reviews.
As usual, I found a bunch of loose bolts and even one that was stripped out.
As I am test fitting the gears I noticed two holes on the top for oiling the shaft I am assuming.
Looking closer it appears that if I just drill those two holes out a smidgeon that I could tap them and put grease fittings in them which would be way the hell better than having oil running all over the damn place due to their less than precise tolerances on the shaft and the boss it goes in.
Out comes the drill and the tap and in just a few minutes it's ready for some grease fittings.
I dug around and found a pair and screwed them right in.
Then I went over to my Roll Away and grabbed a grease gun out of the bottom drawer and hooked it to the first fitting and started pumping away on the handle.
Nothing happened.
No grease.
This has happened to me at least a hundred times in my life, I used to grease heavy equipment all day long for a living.
Not a problem I think to myself. I threw it down and dug out another one.
And another one.
And another one!
Four motherfucking grease guns and every single one of the cocksuckers is empty!
Are you fucking kidding me?!
One or two I can see.
Four in a row must be some kind of sign.
This is when it came to me, somewhere God must have put a curse on grease guns.
BEHOLD SINNERS!
BECAUSE YOU HAVE DISPLEASED THE LORD YOUR GOD, WHENEVER YOU ARE IN DIRE NEED OF LUBRICATION YOU WILL FIND EVERY GREASE GUN IN THE LAND TO BE EMPTY WHEN YOU NEED IT MOST UNTIL THE RETURN OF CHRIST HIMSELF AMEN!
I also think there is a sub curse that goes along with it.
BEHOLD SINNERS! LISTEN UP!
AFTER YOU HAVE TRAVELED FAR AND WIDE TO FIND GREASE FOR YOUR GREASE GUNS, YOU WILL FOREVER AND EVER FIND THAT ONCE YOU HAVE GREASE COVERING YOUR DIRTY SINNING HANDS THERE WILL NOT BE A GREASE RAG TO BE FOUND WITHIN TWENTY FIVE FEET.
SO SAYETH THE LORD YOUR GOD!
Because it never, ever fails.
Today was no different.
And so it will be for eternity or until there is no more need for grease guns, whichever comes first.
Amen.
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Is There A Mayonnaise Shortage I'm Not Hearing About?
Some other food commodity or kitchen appliance shortfall I missed somehow?
If not, why aren't all these damn women at home making sandwiches like they should be?
I know I certainly don't like pickles on my sandwiches, are they threatening to make all sandwiches with pickles?
If they are, then I have to agree with this lady,
If not, what exactly is it that they are pissed off about now?
I try to put the seat down after all.
Who knows?
Better yet, who cares?
The best explanation I ever heard for women's behavior is that they want what they can't have.
That means when they get what they wanted, they don't want that anymore because they want what they can't have.
It's a vicious cycle.
Makes sense though if you think about it.
If not, why aren't all these damn women at home making sandwiches like they should be?
I know I certainly don't like pickles on my sandwiches, are they threatening to make all sandwiches with pickles?
If they are, then I have to agree with this lady,
If not, what exactly is it that they are pissed off about now?
I try to put the seat down after all.
Who knows?
Better yet, who cares?
The best explanation I ever heard for women's behavior is that they want what they can't have.
That means when they get what they wanted, they don't want that anymore because they want what they can't have.
It's a vicious cycle.
Makes sense though if you think about it.
I Just Love Stupid People
They can be so entertaining at times.
It just keeps getting better and better.
H/T to Ernie for the video link.
It just keeps getting better and better.
H/T to Ernie for the video link.
Friday, January 20, 2017
"Peaceful" Trump Protesters Turn Violent, Where Is My Shocked Face?
You blinked and missed it.
We are watching a bunch of Dindu's standing around a garbage barrel they set on fire running their yaps.
As I predicted they went aboriginal and got face fulls of Pepper Spray for their troubles.
Businesses and vehicles have had their windows busted out and they are screaming that it is their right to protest.
It sure is snowflake, until you start breaking shit.
Then it's game on.
I'm not the least bit surprised, I fully expected this shit and so did the D.C. police department.
My only thoughts are what it is these fucking idiots are going to find to get red assed about tomorrow.
I'm sure the'll find something.
In the mean time, like at least a couple of million fellow citizens who do still actually have jobs and keep the lights on in this country, I am going to work here in a bit.
I hope to see some crying little bitches who got roughed up by the cops when I get home.
At my age it's the little things in life I enjoy anymore.
We are watching a bunch of Dindu's standing around a garbage barrel they set on fire running their yaps.
As I predicted they went aboriginal and got face fulls of Pepper Spray for their troubles.
Businesses and vehicles have had their windows busted out and they are screaming that it is their right to protest.
It sure is snowflake, until you start breaking shit.
Then it's game on.
I'm not the least bit surprised, I fully expected this shit and so did the D.C. police department.
My only thoughts are what it is these fucking idiots are going to find to get red assed about tomorrow.
I'm sure the'll find something.
In the mean time, like at least a couple of million fellow citizens who do still actually have jobs and keep the lights on in this country, I am going to work here in a bit.
I hope to see some crying little bitches who got roughed up by the cops when I get home.
At my age it's the little things in life I enjoy anymore.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
You Can Stop Now, Irish Has Won The Internet Today.
The second I saw this I fucking lost it because I just watched that movie again last week for the fortieth time.
This pick is beyond sublime.
This pick is beyond sublime.
We Have Had This Capability For Years
I'm thinking as soon as Mad Dog Mattis takes over the Defense Department that we will be seeing more of this too.
I certainly fucking hope so anyway.
I certainly fucking hope so anyway.
B-2 bombers kill nearly 100 ISIS terrorists in Libya
A pair of B-2 "stealth" bombers blasted two ISIS training camps in Libya on Wednesday evening, dropping 108 precision-guided bombs and sending jihadists scattering -- many of whom were then "cleaned up" by drone-launched hellfire missiles, U.S. defense officials told Fox News.
The assault killed an estimated 85 terrorists at the camps, which were about 30 miles southwest of the Libyan coastal city of Sirte. Many of the fighters were "actively plotting operations in Europe," Defense Secretary Ash Carter said at a news conference Thursday.
President Obama authorized the action. Most of the terrorists targeted had escaped Sirte after extensive military actions there.
U.S. drones "cleaned up" the operation by launching hellfire missiles that killed a several of ISIS fighters trying to run to safety.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
The Neighbors Must Think I Started Drinking Again
At least this time it didn't make it all the way out into the street.
It was about a foot and a half away from the garage door when I parked it last night.
Thank God we didn't get another dose of that ice like they kept saying we were going to get and the rain finally melted that shit off the driveway.
It was about a foot and a half away from the garage door when I parked it last night.
Thank God we didn't get another dose of that ice like they kept saying we were going to get and the rain finally melted that shit off the driveway.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Obama Commutes PFC Bradley Manning's 35 Year Prison Sentence
Brad, Chelsea, what the fuck ever.
Still nothing for The Hildebeast though.
Heh, your running out of time Hillary.
Obama commutes sentence of intelligence analyst Chelsea Manning
President Barack Obama on Tuesday commuted the prison sentence of Chelsea Manning, the former U.S. military intelligence analyst who is serving 35 years in prison for passing classified files to WikiLeaks, the White House said.
Manning, formerly known as U.S. Army Private First Class Bradley Manning, was born male but revealed after being convicted of espionage that she identifies as a woman.
She accepted responsibility for leaking the material, has said she was confronting gender dysphoria at the time of the leaks while deployed in Iraq.
Still nothing for The Hildebeast though.
Heh, your running out of time Hillary.
Ya Gotta Love It
Not.
I just stepped out front for a quick puff or two before hitting it for the night and found my car sitting half way out in the street.
The driveway is still covered in ice from last week and after coming home from work, I parked it and came inside, it apparently just slid back down the driveway and out into the fucking road on it's own.
The side streets around here are still a network of ice and clear spots depending on how much traffic and sun they have been getting. I finally took the cable chains off the bastard yesterday.
Later on this morning we are supposed to get flat fucking hammered with freezing rain.
They were talking a solid inch of the shit up in the Columbia river gorge, just East of here.
4 to 8 inches of rain in the Coast Range of mountains and all of that headed this way. When it meets the freezing ass cold coming from the Eastern side of the state funneling down that gorge it is going to be a huge skating rink.
It's supposed to warm up after the rain gets going real good. That's going to melt all the snow in the mountains just off the coast which will between the two cause massive flooding.
They say if you don't like the weather around here to just wait ten minutes.
So far this has been one of the coldest and wettest Winters I can remember since 1996.
It just won't stop with this bitter fucking cold and the rain coming is a classic Pineapple Express coming from the South West.
If they get even half of the ice they are predicting up in that gorge it will shut down the interstate one one side of the river and the old highway on the other side for fucking days. Portland will be paralyzed for sure.
It's going to be interesting around here tomorrow afternoon.
I just stepped out front for a quick puff or two before hitting it for the night and found my car sitting half way out in the street.
The driveway is still covered in ice from last week and after coming home from work, I parked it and came inside, it apparently just slid back down the driveway and out into the fucking road on it's own.
The side streets around here are still a network of ice and clear spots depending on how much traffic and sun they have been getting. I finally took the cable chains off the bastard yesterday.
Later on this morning we are supposed to get flat fucking hammered with freezing rain.
They were talking a solid inch of the shit up in the Columbia river gorge, just East of here.
4 to 8 inches of rain in the Coast Range of mountains and all of that headed this way. When it meets the freezing ass cold coming from the Eastern side of the state funneling down that gorge it is going to be a huge skating rink.
It's supposed to warm up after the rain gets going real good. That's going to melt all the snow in the mountains just off the coast which will between the two cause massive flooding.
They say if you don't like the weather around here to just wait ten minutes.
So far this has been one of the coldest and wettest Winters I can remember since 1996.
It just won't stop with this bitter fucking cold and the rain coming is a classic Pineapple Express coming from the South West.
If they get even half of the ice they are predicting up in that gorge it will shut down the interstate one one side of the river and the old highway on the other side for fucking days. Portland will be paralyzed for sure.
It's going to be interesting around here tomorrow afternoon.
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Waiting For The Left's Moves On Inauguration Day
Because this is going to be an epic beat down opportunity.
I keep seeing where they want to disrupt the inauguration and are threatening all kinds of shit.
Let me break some news your way assholes.
Number one, you SJW's jumped the fucking shark a long time ago. Ain't nobody afraid of your asses.
Number two, judging by the Trigglypuffs among you,
dumping a couple of dozen bacon glazed donuts in the area will serve as both a deterrent and a diversion at the same time.
Either your hefty warriors will stop to graze or your gluten free vegetarian types will run away in horror.
The first dozen is on me.
Number three, you people are fucking weird and think that everyone else should accept your crazy shit as normal.
See number one above, it looks to me like the results of the recent election have proven this notion to be demonstrably false.
I keep hearing that the tactics you are planning on using will be the same ones used in Portland Oregon recently, blocking traffic and other assorted acts of assholery.
Let me be the first to point out that a Presidential inauguration in the nations capitol of Washington D.C. is as far removed from the response of the Portland police as you can get in the lower 48 kids.
Even the Portland cops finally had enough of your bullshit and threw your asses out of City Hall and shut the doors in your faces.
Do you not think that perhaps a little Mace might not be in your futures if you try that shit in the nations capitol while every available cop, National Guard unit, Secret Service Agent and the FB fucking I are right there waiting for you?
I absolutely CAN"T WAIT for the hilarity to start!
My only hope is that the backlash gets put up on Youtube right away so I can download it.
So bring your best game fuckers, you think you are all that and a bag of chips?
I'm thinking you have a series of nasty surprises coming your way in the very near future.
I keep seeing where they want to disrupt the inauguration and are threatening all kinds of shit.
Let me break some news your way assholes.
Number one, you SJW's jumped the fucking shark a long time ago. Ain't nobody afraid of your asses.
Number two, judging by the Trigglypuffs among you,
dumping a couple of dozen bacon glazed donuts in the area will serve as both a deterrent and a diversion at the same time.
Either your hefty warriors will stop to graze or your gluten free vegetarian types will run away in horror.
The first dozen is on me.
Number three, you people are fucking weird and think that everyone else should accept your crazy shit as normal.
See number one above, it looks to me like the results of the recent election have proven this notion to be demonstrably false.
I keep hearing that the tactics you are planning on using will be the same ones used in Portland Oregon recently, blocking traffic and other assorted acts of assholery.
Let me be the first to point out that a Presidential inauguration in the nations capitol of Washington D.C. is as far removed from the response of the Portland police as you can get in the lower 48 kids.
Even the Portland cops finally had enough of your bullshit and threw your asses out of City Hall and shut the doors in your faces.
Do you not think that perhaps a little Mace might not be in your futures if you try that shit in the nations capitol while every available cop, National Guard unit, Secret Service Agent and the FB fucking I are right there waiting for you?
I absolutely CAN"T WAIT for the hilarity to start!
My only hope is that the backlash gets put up on Youtube right away so I can download it.
So bring your best game fuckers, you think you are all that and a bag of chips?
I'm thinking you have a series of nasty surprises coming your way in the very near future.
It's A Little Too Late For That Now
I am going to be 57 years old here in a couple of weeks.
I am the oldest son of the oldest son in my family and my Old Man has been dead for a couple of years now.
If I haven't grown the fuck up by now it ain't gonna happen.
Nanny nanny boo boo motherfuckers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)