The Wife Goes "Shopping"

So I get home from work the other night and my wife informs me that she is going "Shopping" the next day.

She just went grocery shopping earlier so this is a statement of intent here for something else.

Really, I says, what for?

She hesitated for a few seconds, never a good sign.

Rugs, she finally says.

Rugs?

Yeah, rugs.


Hmmm.

I'll admit that some of our throw rugs are getting pretty shitty looking, threads hanging off the corners and just generally worn the hell out.

OK honey, have a good time.

All the while wondering just what the fuck she is up to because that pause tells me there is more to this story coming.

So I come home from work last night and go through the kitchen, there is a wall between it and the front room.

Bigger than shit, there is a bag with some throw rugs in it on the table.
One of her sisters is here and they are out in the garage yakking away like they always do.

So I see ya found some rugs.

Yes.

Then the sister pipes up and says didn't you see what's in the living room?

Uh, no. So I turn around and find this sitting there.

Ho-leee shit!

Of course she had to buy the new TV cabinet to go with it and not shown is the new computer desk.

Jayzus.
My worst nightmare has just been realized.


She wakes me up this morning banging on shit with a hammer.

I come staggering out of the bedroom wondering what the fuck all the hammering is about and badly needing a cup of coffee.

Putting the cabinet together.

Already?

I had to help a little bit with the door slides but other than that she is throwing that sucker together by herself.

Then she informs me that she is going to go get a new dining table set too. This means I will be conscripted to haul that shit and most likely put that together.

She got a little bit of back pay from a ten year old lawsuit against the State who was fucking over the In Home Care Givers that are licensed by them.
Normally my wife is pretty damn frugal, almost miserly as a matter of fact, so this came clear out of left field.

If she is happy, I am happy so I am just going to shut my mouth and let her do her thing here.

The only problem I see coming is that it is going to get really cold out in that garage this Winter but that is the only place I will be able to escape to in order to be able to ignore this giant fucking television that is now going to dominate the wall right across from my recliner.

Either that or get a new lap top with a huge assed screen on it.

She watches television constantly and it is not uncommon for two or more to be on at the same time with no one really watching either one. Drives me crazy.

Television is something I try to avoid. I actually gave the last one I owned away five years ago. Mind pollution and drivel is all that comes out of the fucking things but she has to have them on even if it's just back ground noise.

I only half ass watch it because the fucking thing is constantly on while I am sitting here and it is hard to avoid, even with the headphones on. Now it is going to be impossible. It's going to be like having a Drive In movie screen eight feet away, right in front of me.

I'm going to have to figure something out here because televisions irritate the shit out of me.

Idiot box indeed, now Super Sized and most definitely, Must See.