My Grandmother passed away last night while I was holding her hand.
Her name was Rosella, Rose for short.
She was 101 so it wasn't a big surprise that she finally went but it progressed pretty quickly when she decided it was time. . My Aunt called me about 4 in the afternoon and said Grandma hadn't eaten or drank anything in about 36 hours and she thought the time had come. She left us at 9:40 .
She was more of a second Mother to me than a Grandmother, I grew up in a broken home and had a pretty fucked up child hood, at fifteen I ran away from home and lived with my Mom's parents until that Grandmother died and then shortly afterwards moved in with my Dads Mom.
I had dropped out of school and she is the reason I went back and finally graduated.
She also kept me alive when I was broke and starving down in California, sending me Care Packages .
You would be amazed at what you can cram into a shoe box.
I gave the poor woman a nervous breakdown at least once worrying about my stupid ass. I was a crazy bastard when I was young, just plain wild. She was a proper Christian Lady who went to Catholic church every Sunday for longer than I have been alive.
Let me tell ya, Jewish Mothers have nothing on a properly trained Catholic woman when it comes to laying guilt trips on ya and my Grandmother was the one they made the mold from.
The sweetest and nicest woman you would have ever met in your life though, I can say that with all honesty because that is what other people have told me about her my whole life, may she finally rest in peace.
Because I lost my phone last week I have to got to my Mom's tomorrow, she still has my Dad's cell phone. She is going to charge it up and then I can get all the phone numbers for all the people I need to get a hold of.
Right now I don't even have my own kids's numbers but I will get those from my wife tomorrow too.
The service is going to be in the town I grew up in and she will be buried next to her husband who died in 1973.
That Grandfather, my real Mother, her Mother, and a bunch of people I grew up with are all in the same cemetery down there.
I don't know why I am blabbing about all this on a very public Blog to people all over the world who I will never meet but I am kind of out of sorts here at the moment.
It hasn't completely soaked in yet and it feels like I should be doing something yet there isn't anything I can do at the moment. Sitting here staring at this computer like a zombie was getting on my nerves and I can't concentrate enough right now to do anything long enough to take my mind off it.
I tried playing my favorite game but after a few minutes I got tunnel vision and caught myself staring off into space.
Sometimes I write on this blog just to sort things out in my own mind and more than once I have hit that Publish button when I should have just deleted what I had written instead.
This may well be another one of those times but right now I need an outlet and here it is.
Please excuse my ramblings, if you don't see much going on around here for a day or so, you will know why.
I think I am going to start the grieving process here shortly.
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